...

There are so many questions I want answered, yet I don't know who to ask.

At times I catch myself wondering if things are ever going to get better, or am I on a plateau?

I also catch myself doing something I know for a fact is going to backfire, but what do I do? I follow through. And it backfires. Just as predicted.

Is there REALLY somebody out there for EVERYBODY?

Have I already passed them by?

Do I really need that person?

Will my long-time fears prove true in this unforgiving world?

Why can't I muster the courage to just do something daring and possibly rewarding for myself?

Why do I ALWAYS lock up when the time calls for action? Actions I know for a fact will benefit me in the long run?

Why can't I break the cycle I've spun myself into?

I am happy, but how happy AM I? Could I be happier than I already am? Or am I actually completely miserable compared to the "happy" I could become in the future?

Is this it?

I want to feel needed.
I want to feel protected.
I want to feel accomplished.
I want to be 120% proud to be me.
At this point, I'm only 89%. At best.


The burning question in my brain that I may never get answered:

Why in blue perfect hell do nice guys always...ALWAYS...finish dead fuck last?


I will never settle.